Patches so bad, they're hilarious!

Morbid_WelshmanMon, 29/12/2014 - 21:27

What's the worst patch you've ever seen? There's some piss-poor bootlegs on Ebay that have me in stitches! (No pun intended)

Taikon on Mon, 29/12/2014 - 22:42

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv332/St_Origen403/Necrovore.jpg

Here's one. There's a personal favourite of mine, which is the embroidered blue-and-white Iron Maiden - Fear of the Dark One where you can't actually see what's going on.

BLACKY on Wed, 21/01/2015 - 16:15

I loved the AUTOPSY Item so much I bought the last two!

Pictures Soon!

MonoWhisper763 on Mon, 29/12/2014 - 22:43

This one's a good one
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Iron-Maiden-the-beast-on-the-road-SMALL-MINI-pat...

lak89 on Sun, 25/01/2015 - 10:16

Haha someone actually bought it!

The Clairvoyant

on Mon, 26/01/2015 - 00:03

Oh dear...

Taikon on Mon, 29/12/2014 - 22:56

BEHOLD! Sloytonic Wormucht: http://i.imgur.com/Lh5NoW7.jpg

RavenEffect on Tue, 30/12/2014 - 00:40

This actually came up on facebook, no shittin
http://i.imgur.com/Bk29wNN.png

Lost it at serious offers

MonoWhisper763 on Tue, 30/12/2014 - 02:49

I'm not sure Eddie is even alive in that patch. It's fucking awful

The Clairvoyant

on Mon, 26/01/2015 - 00:02

That's fucking TRAGIC!

Petrus on Sun, 21/05/2023 - 03:20

DAMN

Nater90 on Tue, 30/12/2014 - 01:54

http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/BATHORY-embroidery-patch-aufnaher-naszywka-/2...

This one will always crack me up, Posted it a few times, So awful.

Nater90 on Wed, 31/12/2014 - 01:30

Hahahahaha, Chuck Norris is epic, I'd have a Chuck Norris patch on my kutte.

deadlock on Tue, 30/12/2014 - 02:12

Its not quite as obvious, but this ones awful in its own more subtle way http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/BATHORY-EMBROIDERED-BACK-PATCH-/361158420238?...

Taikon on Wed, 31/12/2014 - 08:00

Reminds me of the PEST NORE hoodies you can get on eBay..

PForx on Tue, 30/12/2014 - 03:39

This thing looks more like Ninja Turtles than anything else...
http://www.ebay.com/itm/AUTOPSY-EMBROIDERED-PATCH/371217064401?

Nater90 on Tue, 30/12/2014 - 05:25

Hahahaha it totally does!

stenchcore massive on Tue, 30/12/2014 - 12:27

hahaha, the price is $6.66 too. what a joke.

RavenEffect on Tue, 30/12/2014 - 14:59

Man these guy's patches look so horrible

Kathulex on Tue, 30/12/2014 - 15:56

But, that's the MetalDevastation guy. His patches are fucking awesome.

But then again, I have a soft spot for fully embroidered artworks.

RavenEffect on Tue, 30/12/2014 - 16:24

Clearly they're not

PForx on Tue, 30/12/2014 - 16:32

He has a lot of good embroidered logo patches! It's just embroidered artwork that often doesn't really work out too well...

RavenEffect on Tue, 30/12/2014 - 16:36

Maybe you're right and I'm only judging by what I see on his eBay shop.

DeathByMetalAus... on Sat, 24/01/2015 - 05:17

But it sold!!

Morbid_Welshman on Wed, 31/12/2014 - 17:30

I've got some diabolical ones to post, hahah :L What's even funnier, is when people try selling them as "vintage" or "rare" for ludicrous prices :L Someone should make a jacket with just these really bad ones, that'd be funny :P

Heinz on Wed, 31/12/2014 - 20:34

As a goofy high school kid I might have been all over "Batlord" as a band name. Today, maybe not so much.

Nater90 on Sat, 03/01/2015 - 06:44

Some rare stuff Doc...

What the fuck haha.

IFYOUCANREADTHI... on Sat, 03/01/2015 - 07:31

That's like something my auld Gran 'attempted' to sew me back in my early Metal days! Bless her! Haha! Chronic!

Do the makers of such shocking efforts actually think they are getting away that?

Was discussing such with a few old mates last week, there seems to be this sudden outbreak of tragic bootleg (they are an insult to bootlegs) pieces of cloth claiming to be 'patches' over the past couple of years and literally no official patches new or old...sad times indeed!

Taikon on Sun, 18/01/2015 - 08:26

Despite all the ridiculous bootlegs, my least favourite piece of metal merchandise is actually official: http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg198/dwtmh/Archgoat/Bestial%20Warlus...

Not only did the embroidery completely ruin the design, it's also a big chunk of leather. It would've looked much better if it were shaped.

EvilPriest on Sun, 18/01/2015 - 10:41

http://www.ebay.fr/itm/MORBID-ANGEL-L-STRIPPATCH-HEAVY-METAL-PATCH-BIKER...

They took a square design and made it a rectangle design using microsoft paint...

Kathulex on Sun, 18/01/2015 - 10:49

I've seen quite a few people wearing that atrocity.

EvilPriest on Sun, 18/01/2015 - 10:50

That's the funny part :D

DeathByMetalAus... on Sat, 24/01/2015 - 05:22

yeah but it is copy written 1991. hahah

Morbid_Welshman on Sun, 29/07/2018 - 16:04

Wow

thrash till death06 on Sun, 25/01/2015 - 20:52

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Sepultura-embroided-sew-on-patch-/230881038028?p...

Morbid_Welshman on Sun, 25/01/2015 - 21:24

Oh dear...hahah :L

ulfskeptr88 on Fri, 20/02/2015 - 20:54

hahaha ... "2 sold"

Bayernpirat

on Mon, 26/01/2015 - 08:17

booaahhh fuck eyy, it´s soo hilarious to make a bootleg from a bootleg.
this is a bootleg I made:
http://tshirtslayer.com/patch/unleashed-patch-aggression
and this is the crappier version:
http://www.ebay.de/itm/UNLEASHED-EMBROIDERED-PATCH-/371238827539?
(thx executor for the find)

DethronedEmperor23 on Mon, 26/01/2015 - 08:38

I think I puked.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/BD56-GLOW-SKIDROW-ROCK-MUSIC-Badge-Embrodiered-p...

Kathulex on Mon, 26/01/2015 - 16:38

That actually looks pretty porngrind to me.

RavenEffect on Wed, 18/02/2015 - 14:46

3 of them look ok I guess

Nater90 on Thu, 19/02/2015 - 03:52

Some of the other patches in their store look pretty good...Really digging the Sentenced one...I've got Sentenced - Buried Alive, Its fucking amazing.

Despiser on Fri, 20/02/2015 - 11:59

Not the worst I've seen, but still pretty horrible - especially considering the quality of official M13D patches: http://www.ebay.ca/itm/MORTUARY-DRAPE-LOGO-Embroidered-PATCH-/2518035594...

Bayernpirat

on Sun, 01/03/2015 - 22:19

Inlo The Brape ???

vikingdantheman on Sun, 01/03/2015 - 14:45

http://www.ebay.com/itm/SEPUDURA-Embroidered-Sew-Iron-On-Patch-Logo-Badg...

i had to buy this one, couldnt let this beauty get away.

Bayernpirat

on Sun, 01/03/2015 - 22:22

that Slaytanic patch, pffft:
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Slayer-Embroidered-Sew-Iron-On-Patch-Logo-Thrash...

Morbid_Welshman on Mon, 02/03/2015 - 02:38

This reminds me of a Kreator one I saw years ago (Can't even remember where) which has been spelled with a "C" but this is just as funny :L

Nater90 on Mon, 02/03/2015 - 03:27

Hahahahahahaha, That's fucking awful but hilarious as hell.

Judas Priestess on Wed, 18/03/2015 - 23:55

http://www.ebay.com/itm/MISFITS-AMERICAN-TOP-PUNK-ROCK-BAND-Embroidered-...

dubtribe

on Thu, 19/03/2015 - 11:00

Sepultura - Arise
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Sepultura-Arise-Patch-Slayer-Kreator-Exodus-Pant...

TooFastForLove on Sat, 21/03/2015 - 15:08

I think it would be funny if I bought every single patch posted here and make a new jacket with them!

Toxicality on Fri, 22/05/2015 - 01:50

I'm not really sure why anyone would think it was a good idea to make and distribute this abomination: http://www.ebay.com/itm/2-LOT-MEGADETH-THRASH-METAL-BIG-4-EMBROIDERED-Ea...

ProtectorOfMegadeth on Thu, 26/03/2015 - 01:01

Dear God!

ProtectorOfMegadeth on Thu, 26/03/2015 - 12:55

How about that one "So Far, So Good. So What?" patch

http://www.amazon.com/Megadeth-Album-Metal-Applique-Patch/dp/B00R66SR6A/...

Nater90 on Fri, 27/03/2015 - 03:09

So crap...So shit...What the fuck...

kereealazer on Sat, 04/04/2015 - 08:03

I've seen the last two on vests. My first two patches were Killing is my Business back patch and a good Peace Sells patch so I feel like crying for them.

ProtectorOfMegadeth on Wed, 15/04/2015 - 14:30

http://www.ebay.com/itm/MEGADETH-Peace-Sells-Embroidered-Iron-On-PATCH-R...

So bad

ProtectorOfMegadeth on Fri, 17/04/2015 - 20:52

http://www.ebay.com/itm/2-Lot-MEGADETH-THRASH-METAL-BIG-4-EMBROIDERED-Ea...

Holy shit more shitty Deth patches

Greaserjlg on Thu, 23/04/2015 - 23:19

http://www.amazon.com/METALLICA-Symbol-Shirts-MM30-Patches/dp/B00HYFFMPM...

Don't know if this has been posted, but if you're a fan of Metallica, The Exploited and god awful embroidery, then this is for you!!!!!

Nater90 on Fri, 24/04/2015 - 09:27

Metallica and The Exploited could totally do a split album together! Would be...Interesting ;)

Greaserjlg on Fri, 24/04/2015 - 16:48

And release these pieces of shit with the "Die hard, limited edition, ultra rare, picture book, concept art, splatter vinyl edition"

Claudandus on Sat, 25/04/2015 - 03:41

Don't forget about the ball point pens, the "exclusive" t shirt witch looks like at least 5 other design already for sale, only shittier, the studio diaries you'll probably never watch anyway, The lanyards that wear out after a weak, the metal pins that falls of immediately after you put them on, the lame posters of the band posing in front of some construction site, all those links to "exclusive" material on some website that won't even be around in a couple of years, the bonus tracks consisting of some alternate takes or live versions of 20-something year old songs, the "certificate of authenticity" that proves that you are the proud owner of an item limited to 500.000 copies. Ah, pointless merch/extra features, could make a thread of it's own.

Nater90 on Sat, 25/04/2015 - 04:18

Haha nice one bro! And if you reverse the album it plays hidden 25 minute tracks of me screaming out HOT STEAMY GAY every 5 minutes.

Greaserjlg on Sat, 25/04/2015 - 19:39

For my bands first record I'm going to get a scan of my great grandma's chocolate chip cookie from scratch recipe and put them in 5 random records, if you find it, you get the recipe for the best damn cookies on the planet that feel like an orgy in your mouth lol.

Nater90 on Sun, 26/04/2015 - 06:49

Hahahahahahaha, Pisser. Man...I feel like chocolate chip cookies now...

Nater90 on Sat, 25/04/2015 - 04:16

Hahahahaha, Fuck yeah man, The splatter effect would be the blood from virgins that are into disco-techa and listening to the album causes so much depression you have no choice but to snuff it.

Ysidro on Sun, 26/04/2015 - 14:46

Now check this out!!! rofl!!
http://www.pic-upload.de/view-26836078/sepudura.jpg.html

(Courtesy of Deaf Forever Forum: http://forum.deaf-forever.de)

Morbid_Welshman on Mon, 27/04/2015 - 08:39

Derp Bloody Derp!

JoeCool6972 on Mon, 04/05/2015 - 02:57

There is a shit ton of those "SEPUDURA" patches on eBay!

Vollhonk on Sun, 22/01/2023 - 22:04

There's really a band named "Sepudura' 😂.

https://m.facebook.com/sepudura?eav=AfaWnAxVLr2lrCUljdOAqM-bsro-aBqELMS1...

Greaserjlg on Tue, 28/04/2015 - 03:15

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00R66SR6A/ref=s9_simh_gw_p201_d4_i2?pf...
Mergaderth so fer so gerd so derp...

Johnny-Eyeball on Tue, 28/04/2015 - 16:34

Any patch covered in weed leaves makes me cringe.

ProtectorOfMegadeth on Wed, 29/04/2015 - 01:59

Agreed

Kathulex on Wed, 29/04/2015 - 23:41

100% Agreed

*cough*Pantera*cough*

gizter on Mon, 11/05/2015 - 15:51

lies..
http://tshirtslayer.com/patch/sleep-marijuanaut-patch

other than that. yeah, pretty much.. especiale the Pantera patch..

(edit, its not covered in weed leaves, didnt read to well.)

MaxPerv on Mon, 11/05/2015 - 07:21

I've just uploaded this..... Pretty sure it fits the category ;)
http://tshirtslayer.com/patch/metallica-blow-universe-patch

ProtectorOfMegadeth on Sat, 16/05/2015 - 19:49

That patch is beautiful, what are you talkin about?!

Greaserjlg on Mon, 11/05/2015 - 16:30

http://tshirtslayer.com/patch/search-1

This one is pretty ugly but not god awful.

JoeCool6972 on Mon, 11/05/2015 - 19:33

And they only want $40. Sheesh!

JoeCool6972 on Tue, 19/05/2015 - 05:14

This Possessed patch I just found on eBay is pretty bad.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/POSSESSED-American-death-thrash-metal-logo-patch...

Kathulex on Tue, 19/05/2015 - 21:15

Eh, not too bad actually. There are better Possessed boots out there but this is atleast accurate to the original logo.

Rodbo on Mon, 25/05/2015 - 17:12

If you order from flammenwerfer666, tell him Rodney sent you and he will give you free shipping.

flammenwerfer666
http://www.ebay.com/usr/flammenwerfer666

JoeCool6972 on Sat, 30/05/2015 - 19:02

This guy sells some good looking bootleg back patches at a pretty cheap price, but I find it a little weird he sells back patches and porn DVDs! LOL!

http://www.ebay.com/sch/santee1405/m.html?_nkw=&_armrs=1&_ipg=&_from=&LH...

JoeCool6972 on Sat, 30/05/2015 - 19:10

Here is another one from the same seller as the Megaderp patch. This one is Metallica: Derpage Inc.

http://www.amazon.com/Metallica-Heavy-Metal-Embroidered-Hardcore/dp/B00O...

JoeCool6972 on Sat, 30/05/2015 - 19:12

And another one from that same seller... JLMI Henderp!

http://www.amazon.com/Hendrix-Heavy-Metal-Music-Jacket/dp/B00R602NUC/ref...

JoeCool6972 on Sat, 30/05/2015 - 19:21

The Exploited have been exploited. That weird looking thing is SUPPOSED to be a skull. Same seller as all the above bad ones too. Downright shameful!

http://www.amazon.com/England-Exploited-Logo-Patch-Jacket/dp/B00MCEQ20E/...

Rodbo on Wed, 03/06/2015 - 23:32

These two sites are probably two of the best metal patch sellers on EBay!! Their prices are great, customer service is great and fast ass shipping!!!

http://stores.ebay.com/mextremista?_rdc=1

http://stores.ebay.com/CULTPATCHE666?_rdc=1

JoeCool6972 on Tue, 09/06/2015 - 00:50

Well, since Rodbo mentioned this seller, I found an awful Iron Maiden back patch "cultpatches666" was selling. Eddie looks like a methhead!

http://www.ebay.com/itm/IRON-MAIDEN-BACK-PATCH-/361314642889?pt=LH_Defau...

Rodbo on Tue, 09/06/2015 - 01:04

I'm pretty sure if you look into that a legit Maiden back patch, I have seen tons of these

deadlock on Tue, 16/06/2015 - 05:35

legit or not, it still fits the subject

Greaserjlg on Tue, 16/06/2015 - 05:12

http://www.ebay.com/itm/BLASPHEMY-Fallen-Angel-of-Doom-Printed-Patch-New...

If you're going to make a shitty printed patch, at least make sure the text isn't fucking cut off by the border!!

Villi Thorne on Sat, 29/08/2015 - 18:05

I think this is the worst one I've seen... wow. Just... wow. But I can't help laughing at it.

Spaghetti Zombie!
http://www.ebay.com/itm/CARCASS-EMBROIDERED-PATCH-/371414859635?hash=ite...

Givethemhell on Sun, 19/08/2018 - 02:22

https://img0.etsystatic.com/151/1/13191910/il_340x270.1135755700_8nno.jpg Low effort on the details of the background.

Nater90 on Sun, 19/08/2018 - 03:08

Fuck that is bad haha.

Bolzenwerfer on Sun, 07/10/2018 - 16:10

https://www.ebay.de/itm/Aufnaher-Aufbugler-Patch-METALLICA-IRO-Skull-Rar...

Bolzenwerfer on Sun, 07/10/2018 - 16:22

not exactly "bad", but somehow....strange and obscure

https://www.ebay.de/itm/RARE-DEATH-WOVEN-ROUND-PATCH-OBITUARY-MORBID-ANG...

Bolzenwerfer on Sun, 16/12/2018 - 09:51

https://www.ebay.de/itm/Kiss-Aufnaher-Aufbugler-Patch-7-5cm-x-7-5cm/2735...

Nater90 on Sun, 16/12/2018 - 10:54

Ahhhh that's nasty haha.

Metalmate on Sun, 16/12/2018 - 18:43

Hahahah that 's already one of my favourites!

dinosaurs_can_fly on Thu, 25/08/2022 - 19:39

Well this is an ugly one, even the reaper's hand is cropped...
https://tshirtslayer.com/patch/children-bodom-patch-embroidered

Tina Taem 22 on Mon, 09/01/2023 - 22:16

some bad quality Iron Maiden Patches maybe

Dr. Wilbur Graves on Thu, 12/01/2023 - 22:47

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/266076148819?hash=item3df35fd453:g:9U4AAOSwan...
not that bad otherwise but it bothers me how it only says "MAIDF JAPA"

Tina Taem 22 on Thu, 12/01/2023 - 23:40

haha 😂 It supposed to say Maiden Japan but the words got cut off to the corner on the patch

Dr. Wilbur Graves on Tue, 17/01/2023 - 09:16

They asked 10€ for this mess

SprayDownTheDeath09 on Sat, 21/01/2023 - 01:59

This In Flames - Clayman patch is pretty bad looking.

Kriegaz on Fri, 27/01/2023 - 20:51

A classic.

Valente Imortal on Thu, 09/02/2023 - 04:54

This one

SOAD4.0

on Tue, 21/03/2023 - 14:06

Proud owner of this ugly beauty!

https://tshirtslayer.com/patch/slipknot-patch-12

SOAD4.0

on Fri, 07/04/2023 - 09:01

Not sure if this has been posted but I just saw this one today. Absolutely awful.

no karate in pit on Fri, 07/04/2023 - 09:05

weird all someone had to do was put a creed patch or nickleback patch and it would be instantly laughed at

Odradek on Sat, 01/07/2023 - 14:33

Not a patch but this "Bonded by whut" pin that apparently came with the Metalhead Box has to be the worst pin I've ever seen.

Darklord on Wed, 05/07/2023 - 04:23

That Lich King os from ptp is pretty bad....it made me laugh.

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