Manilla Road The Absolute Unit

-64 bands
-62 patches
-9 Signatures
-3 years of work
-573 Pricked Fingers
-666 Moshpits
-Bloodstains From Ghoul
-Reeks of Cigarette Smoke
-Reeks of Man Odor
-69 DMs from Your Mother
-420 Posers Disposed
-2 Concussions in this Jacket
-At least a Six pack worth of Beer Spilled on it
-138 Grams of Cocaine Snorted while worn
-26-0 fight record with your dad and uncles
-107 Awkward Stares mostly from bank tellers
-Elvis Presley Died in this Jacket
-342 Compliments from Metal heads
-339 of those Were Men
-0 Compliments from Punks
-Punks hate Me
-Grass Fed
-12 inches
-Gives You Alpha Male Super Powers
-1500g of Protein
-Pit Vipers not Required but Strongly Suggested
-Automatically makes you a Black Belt in Karate
-There May or May Not be a Handgun In one of the Pockets
-Automatically Makes you Sound Like your Favorite Wrestler
-Increases Testosterone Production by 300%
-Increases Probability of Unprotected Sex
-Wear with Caution, if You’re a Pussy