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Forums > Tutorials / How To / Where To

Daddy Issues

pitstopchr
Tue, 19/06/2012 - 05:33

I know alot of you guys on here are older than me and probably have alot more experience with this but, How do i get my dad to get off my ass about me listening to metal. Seriously, all the sudden that he knows i listen to this im suddenly this satan worshiper who sacrifices female virgins to the sacred necronomicon as an offering to Beezleboss. He even listens to some good stuff like Led Zeppelin and Hendrix so i dont understand why he wouldnt buy me a Pink Floyd shirt even when i offered to buy it with my own money. He justifies that saying that he doesnt want his son wearing black tshirts with skulls and crossbones... How is that answer even relevant? Anyway Im just lookin for some help with this B.S. It is appreciated.


Deathcore.Is.Not.Metal.'s picture

Stand up for yourself. But don't be in your parents face about it. All you can really do is prove all his preconceived stereotypes wrong.

Good luck.

ToxikAssault's picture

Hahaha, tshirtslayer meetup? :D

PForx's picture

Yes, what you need to do is invite a bunch of nazi boneheads to wreck your dad's place. That'll teach him to judge you...
Edit: sorry, didn't realize how old this topic was, someone revived it and it appeared in the sidebar.

almostwilt's picture

ignore him, or punch him out.

ManOboy's picture

just keep doing what your doing, eventually they will give up.

mayhempunk666's picture

for a second i thought this was gonna be some chick asking if she should become a stripper......

do what deathcoreisnotmetal said

Plague's picture

Don't give up and don't give in. He really can't control what you like, nor should he. Tell him you could be listening to gansta rap and hanging out drinkin 40's, but instead ur not. He'll get used to it and will eventually accept that you like metal. Just takes some time...hang in there.

kereealazer's picture

Instead you end up listening to Metal drinking a 40 xD but just keep listening to what you like dude. Your dad will understand that those are your interests.

Maddolis's picture

You're not truly metal if you don't sacrifice virgins.

mayhempunk666's picture

(add on)but you have to sacrifice the virgins with your dick.....this is law

IronMason's picture

here's an idea! make your own little DIY t-shirts
(something like cheap black tshirts with the band's logo:P)
EASE HIM INTO IT! :D

Blüdrayne's picture

well ok. try and find a compromise. there are lots of metal shirts with beautiful art, which are less offensive. for example if you like pink floyd, you can get a dark side of the moon album art shirt, or the wall. and you have to remember band t shirts are only appropriate sometimes, not all the time.

above all, remember to be neat respectful hardworking and keep your grades up. this will prove you can deal with the responsibility of listening to metal without being distracted from your schoolwork.

meaningless's picture

hell yes.thats a rly good point. there are many metalshirts out there..which look not like one on the first look.
Just start to wear stuff like that.
(i was showing my Mom a Cinderella Shirt as i was 12 and asked her: How bad can a band be, when the name is CINDERELLA ;) ..u get the point? :D )

Blüdrayne's picture

Well... it's a band called Cinderella?
That's the least bad part of it.

ToxikAssault's picture

Talk to him, show him the lyrics to prove that not every single song is about human sacrifice.

cambotero's picture

put fucking Venom at his face at 10.000 dB! that usually work.

DamageIncDEB's picture

+666

Rover133's picture

While you live under your parents roof you have some amount of obligation to respect them and live by their rules. I'm not saying cave in and not listen to metal. But the reality is that you must learn to talk to them. Have a "no shit" conversation about what you listen to and why you like it, also that your not suddenly a satan worshipper and sacrificing virgins. You are just a kid who likes to rock. Most of us on here started out the same way and faced the same issues. You will eventually grow up, move out and become an adult in our society. The issue of what you listen to and if metal is still what you enjoy is totally in the future.

I'm one of the old guys on here (48+) and my parents encouraged me to listen to what I wanted, but I also had to do chores and be a good kid in school/life. Then I went on to live my life (successfully) and they are proud of me still till this day. I still go to concerts (over 30 a year) and still bang my head and still am on this site daily and still buy CD's and still rock my fucking ass off.

Learn to deal with it for now - you will have the rest of your life to rock without anyone telling you what you should listen to.

(now stepping off my soap box) and cranking some metal. \m/

Plague's picture

Yeah, Twisted Sister. This vid is perfect for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9AbeALNVkk

meaningless's picture

my dad was also listening to Hendrix, Zeppeling, AC/DC etc. but he was a bit disapointed as i came home with Deicide hahaha ;) And he wasnt rly happy with the lyrics.
I was talking with him..a very long conversation about ALL stuff belongs to metal, attitude, fake attitude of bands..etc.

..Problem mainly solved, he just asked to stop: Sacrifical Suicide playing on MAX Volume when he is at home ;)

NeedToKill's picture

Keep listening to Metal, whats the worst that can happen?

Grounded? Metal will still be around

Get beat? Worth it, preps you for the pit lol

perkele's picture

Listen to kickapoo and you've got your answer ;)
Joke, try to talk to him maybe show him songs, print out the lyrics and proof him not all bands worship Satan...
good luck dude !

BlackMetalRights's picture

How old are you?
And why would a dad not let his son listen to metal? That's retarded! I could understand if a mother would, but damn!
Just keep listening, eventually they'll give up dude.

DevilzForce's picture

i am guessing christian values here and glenn's lyrics on cuddling christians not mixing properly in the house XD

blackstar1965's picture

Like what most everyone else said here, stand up for yourself, but don't step on your Dad's toes trying to make a point.
Try to find common ground with him by relating to his experience as a young man living with his parents and listening to the music he still listens to. Sit down and say your piece while respecting his wishes and beliefs.

Find a compromise. Go music shopping together, allow him to see your purchases and read the lyrics before it comes into the house. Come to us for music recommendations that will make you and Pops happy.

We've all been there, even 30 years later, metal still has a negative stigma.
My mom used to HATE me listening to metal when I was a kid. It took 20 years and now she let me use her sewing machine to sew patches on my vest (cause I'm too cheap to buy my own) and she even sewed a couple on too!
She understands it's not just a lifestyle I like to live or even just music I like to listen to, but an art form I admire. Metal musicians are EASILY some of the most talented musicians in all of modern music- I mean think of all the one-man bands: Windir, Alcest, NIN, Burzum...

Sorry, bit of a tangent there...
Good luck with your Dad!

slaytanic1's picture

tell him that metal is just manly music! and he should be glad you are not into Liberace.

lambofgodfan00's picture

Sit him down and have him watch 'Metal: A Headbanger's Journey'. It'll clear some stuff up with him I think. Also, explain to him that you think metal is fuckin' awesome and that society doesn't understand it like you do. Tell him your experiences. When it comes to Slayer and other similar bands, tell him that it's for shock value or just an interesting subject that they write about. Tell him that there is a deeper meaning to the lyrics and also that the whole 'Satanist sacrificing virgins' thing is not true. Society's to blame for that stupid, untrue rumor.

Also, I remember when I first bought Lamb of God's 'Ashes of The Wake', I remember my parents being concerned, but they eventually understood that they aren't satanic. They're an awesome band. I also remember getting my Bad Religion t-shirt. My Dad wasn't really happy, but once I told him what it meant, he eased up a little. He still didn't really like seeing me wear it though.

JUANTHRASH's picture

my parents dont let me wear anything with skulls either even if it is cartoonish:( I am going through the same stuff as you

thrashnickdeath's picture

I wish I could help. But my parents have been totally okay with me listening to metal. I've even got my dad into a some bands like Municipal Waste and Dying Fetus. Well good luck with all this. Hope you can convince him to let you listen to metal and wear band merch.

MoreGoreLessCore's picture

Totally become what he fears will happen, invest in a Harley and ride off into the sunset.

Serious time, Hardcore christian?

Oby1916's picture

you have to prove to him that this music its just entertainamnt, yes, is a way of life but its jut harmless roc n roll!

Albtraum's picture

You have to bear it, but never change for anything. I got some prohibition too, but I never stopped going my way and someday your parents will accept that. I speak from experience, good luck :)

Dave Quincy Punx's picture

Show him this thread. At least some of the more serious posts. He might see that the metal scene has a lot of pretty decent folks who look out for one another.

Knightwhosayni's picture

Same here. Was thinking about it while perusing the thread (well, at least the more serious posts too!). It could also be a good way for him to understand what your concerns are, as formulated by you without the filter you might use when you talk to him.
But above all I'd say stay true to yourself and don't give in if you have this music at heart. Take it seriously, and it'll be incredibly generous with you in return. Rock'n'roll from a wide perspective built itself in opposition to the commonly-accepted so-called good taste / moral rules of society. And society begins in your house.

DevilzForce's picture

don't we have girls on here with daddy issues? we should give this thread a positive spin ;)

LikkedbyDeath's picture

Looks like this thread might take a very interesting turn...

pan_in_ithyphallic_mirth's picture

Sounds like he has a lot of insecurity conflicts. He does not trust you to be able to listen to say satanic heavy metal... but not become a murderer or a rapist or a cult member.

He himself can listen to rock bands and know in his head hes not going to join the manson family, but he is too insecure to believe that you will make that same descision.

The best thing I would advise is keep hammering the statement that you have a conscious mind and know right from wrong, but you must do your own thing or you will not have the willpower to take a stand for yourself.

judascrust's picture

had a similar problem with my mom when I was a teenager. like most of us, I was raised catholic and my mother was especially concerned about me listening to music that criticized/blasphemed against my religion and influence me to turn away from my faith. she was worried about me wanting to adopt a "rock n roll lifestyle" and imitate musicians who abused drugs, alcohol and the promiscuity of women; she worried about my suffering grades in school, worried i would start becoming irresponsible and getting into trouble. it was hard convincing her that most of the negativity that this music appears to promote is simply a form of art, using violent music, lyrics and imagery to reflect the real violence in this world, to reflect the injustices and abuse of power of authority figures in our society and in religion. it was hard convincing her that this music actually did keep me out of trouble because i was always more interested in going to record stores and holing up in my room listening to music than partying and acting like a delinquent.
i had cd's and band shirts thrown out, i had to re-buy albums and shirts and hide a lot of my music collection from her.... it can be a pain in the ass living with a parent who doesn't approve of your choices in life and who is stubborn about being open minded about them. as long as your dad isn't being abusive towards you about it, you kinda have to suck it up and find ways to deal with it.

Blüdrayne's picture

I still have problems with my mum sometimes actually.
Not regarding my dress or pretty much anything like that, I AM 24.
She still doesnt like it when I say "Hail Satan" or anything like that.
I do that whenever she says "God bless you" and so on.
Its amusing how infuriated she gets.

Blüdrayne's picture

This is the fucking lamest thread title btw.

LikkedbyDeath's picture

Well... put yourself in your dad's shoes. I'm not asking you to justify his actions but it would help you keep the resentment to a minimum if you could understand where he's coming from.
Parents always find it hard to let go of their kids as they hit their teenage years and to make up for this diminished amount of control over their kids, which comes with you spending a longer time away from them what with school and your friends, they try to regain some control by asserting that control over things that you might find unreasonable, like the music you listen to. They just don't know how to deal with loosening the leash on their child so soon.
Are you the first child? That might also explain it. The first child is like the guinea pig. Your parents have never had to do this before and they're 'testing' whatever parenting methods they have on you.
I'm the first child. My parents were stricter on me growing up than on my siblings. I just wish I had understood why before I became so filled with resentment as I am now.

Bayernpirat's picture

say him you could hear Techno and abuse Extasy

NekroDesekrator666's picture

Why people bring up these old posts again when they have been already discussed through long time ago?

Lars248's picture

My parents didnt want me to wear black shirts all the time as well. I just kept doing it, then after a while they accepted it. But I think your dad is way more stubborn. Try to find a compromise with him indeed or else you have to accept his wises Im afraid.

Wolverina's picture

you need to show him that ('even though you're into metal') you're still a good kid and that he can trust you. he will get it eventually. don't get too standoffish and don't argue too much.

NIGHTRIDER's picture

If it will help let your daddy see on this site pictures of me and my son - he is a really good student - metal did not turn me or him into bad people - in every group you will find a few bad apples - goes for every kind of grop of people you can imagine - from priests to bikers - from surfers to boy scouts.

Morbid_Welshman's picture

I'm fortunate enough that my parents never had a problem with the music I've always been into and the way I like to dress, and have always been totally supportive, even picking me up from gigs more times than I can remember! The best thing to do is be mature about it, and tell your folks "This is the music I enjoy, and I want to show my support for it" which is totally reasonable. If I had kids who were into Pop (Which I Hate with a passion) I wouldn't treat them any differently or tell them "You can't do/listen to/wear this etc" because not only will it make them want to do it even more, but create boundaries which are completely unnecessary. Tell them calmly and maturely how you feel, and hopefully they'll understand :)

Rotten's picture

Dude, I'm 36 and my folks still don't get it. But they've come to kind of accept it. Best way to prove them wrong is do well in whatever you do. My folks thought I'd slip into some type delinquent - alcoholic - drugs etc which is furthest from the truth. I have a solid career (even though I'm studying at the moment). They still hate my long hair. My shirts. But I dnont care.

Blüdrayne's picture

This is literally a 3 year old thread people are posting in. Just saying.

gizter's picture

this threads been revived like 5 times already. while OP hasnt been on TSS ofr almost 2 and a half years. really anoying when people revive this shit over and over again.

Blüdrayne's picture

It might be a good idea to auto lock threads after a certain period of non activity?

gizter's picture

or just delete them. most of these threads arn't really importand subjects. i think they only take up space.
this obviously does not include the reliable traders and TSS rules threads (and a fiew others like those)

deleted my own threads too after i got my awnser and it dissapeared from the homepage.

CxMxD's picture

What ive learned since ive been into metal is, nobody can "be on your ass" if you are doing something you naturally like. Whether its your parents, best friend, distant relative, or a stranger. The only thing they have the right to do is criticize you. Nothing more. Though at the time, when they make those remarks they will try to make it feel like an entire world on your shoulders and hates what youre doing. when the reality of the situation is youre doing what you like, and someone doesnt like it. Who cares!? why waste your time letting your energy drain at the expense of somebody who is trying to stop you from something as simple as listening to music

Black Frost's picture

Your dad: What's this I wanna watch the news *switches megadeth video to depressing news*
You: This is the news *switches back to megadeth* Then you proceed to headbang.

Piss's picture

Kill your Dad

VoodooChild's picture

For everyone still replying, I dont think the guy still has problems. He is 4 years older now

MasterDeath's picture

It seems like he stood up for himself...

Into Glory Ride's picture

Haha! :D

Nater90's picture

Exactly....

He's probably dealt with it in a civil manor....Or beat the shit out of him.

MasterDeath's picture

R.I.P.

Vectrex's picture

I would totally go in for a religious debate. As someone who is heavy into occult and spiritual black metal, stuff like believing in this "dark" things is normal for me. I would tell him his weak cross should should be crushed under satans might.

Piss's picture

You sure know how to appeal to the 14 year olds.

Vectrex's picture

uh yeah

Plague's picture

Please delete this thread!!! Ugh.

Tina Taem 22's picture

haha Daddy issues lol 😂

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